Warning- Too Much Information.

The following is a short conversation between my mother and myself during work today. I say warning because it really is kind of gross. But reading it is no where near as bad as living it, trust me. It is basically how my day went and my thoughts on bathroom etiquette.

Subject: UGH. men.

Cassie: I just spent a good amount of time cleaning the bathroom. Wiping down everything, mirror, toilet, sink, the little cabinet thing, the floors, really everything. A client comes in to drop something off. He asks to use the bathroom, so I show him where it is. I figure he is only dropping something off so he probably just really has to go, whatever. Well, not only does he poop and leave marks on my freshly cleaned toilet, there are poop marks on the toilet seat, as in the part you sit down on. How does that even happen?? Granted, he is a little on the old side, but that is no excuse. So now, my fresh pledge/lysol smelling bathroom reeks and I have to go wipe old man poop marks off the toilet seat. I am waiting for at least to smell to go away. I told Trisha [the lady I work with] and she said "I hate men" and we laughed. And then I realized it really isn't funny because now I can't use the bathroom because I will vomit if I go in there and smell it and I can't even hold my nose and just go because the seat's got poop on it. UGH.

Jamie: This is why I ALWAYS keep rubber gloves at work. I call anyone who does not work in the office and comes in and uses the bathroom an "alien butt." Now it's a joke around here that we have to go wipe the toilet seat with a lysol wipe because an "alien butt" has sat on the seat.

Cassie: WAIT. It gets worse. I just cleaned it off so I could use the bathroom because I was about to burst and I go to grab toilet paper and there was POOP on the last square. ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? Trisha said "what was he doing, playing with it?" I didn't even sit on the seat after I cleaned it, I am that grossed out by it. I squatted. And I know I could have put toilet paper down but apparently that isn't safe either. I think I need to wash my hands again. And this rubber glove thing is something I'm going to invest in. I'm practically convulsing.
Here are my thoughts on it. First of all, why would you leave your office to poop in someone else's? Who does that? If he was already out of the office, run home real quick. Or go to a gas station if your house is too far away (like ours is), those bathrooms are already nasty. Second, when you are finished ruining my life, why would you not check? I mean if you get poop on the toilet seat, WIPE IT UP. The stench you can't get rid of obviously, but all other proof of poop should be erased. Or, if you just can't help yourself, carry around a small can of Febreze with you. Spray before, during and after and that will help.
Trisha said she doesn't understand men. Women go once a day (if that) and we're good. She said she wonders what it is that goes on that makes them have to poop all the time.


Now, I do feel bad for the poor man because its not like he didn't know that we knew. But that did not make it any less disgusting. Sorry if that was too much for anyone, but I needed a break from my online class.