"Little by little

it's getting easier to pretend it's easier. Which means easier must be right around the corner."

Yeah, you'd think so. Tuesday (the 21st) marked month 5 in Jeremy's mission. Day to day, it is taking for stinkin' ever. But now its been 5 months, which means it's almost 6 months, which means I'm almost 1/4 done with this. (I know, I know, that's a big jump and I still have a whole month before I can really use the 1/4 thing, but don't ruin it for me.) Really though, it's gotten much better lately because school has kept me busy. I've been holding well to my goal of listening to President Monson and finding joy in the journey- and Jeremy has noticed. Go me. In a letter I got today he said, "I want to know how you stay so positive all the time" and that made me literally laugh out loud. Anyone that knows me well knows that I'm not really an optimist. Although, I am happier in my letters to him. But I've really been trying to be happier with this bitter sweet situation that I can't change (though I wouldn't change it even if I could). It's a work in progress.

For those who care, Jeremy is doing well. He tells funny stories but he is learning a lot. It's hard because people don't listen. He says even the members don't like them. The city he is currently in has about 600,000 people and only 15 members. He always talks about how blessed we are to be in America, and from hearing some of things he tells me I'm feeling more and more grateful for that each week. He gets to go to Madrid next week to renew his visa and he is very excited about that. I can already see a change in his letters from when he first left to now, but he still sounds like himself. He still struggles with the language but here is something he told us this week: "I have gotten some really good compliments on my accent. I met a lady on the street and she said that she couldn't even tell that I wasn't Russian. And then she said that she could when I made grammatical mistakes. So that was cool. She said that my accent was right on." So that is exciting and I'm sure that made him feel a lot better. He tells me I should learn Russian. Yeah... right.

Here is a picture he sent recently. I am just going to pretend that he doesn't really look thinner, just like I pretended he was kidding when he said he lost 14 pounds the first week he was there.

I'm just freaking out on the inside.

To borrow words from the lovely Stephenie Meyer, "Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but it does pass. Even for me."

Yes, time does pass, even for me. Slowly but surely.