what i wouldn't give

dear grey's anatomy,
so here's what i'm thinking. you need extras, i need money. do you see where i'm going with this? i don't even need a real acting part. a coma works just fine for me.

dear new moon movie,
please, for my sanity, please be better than twilight was. with the new director and bigger budget, things are looking good. don't let me down.

dear lady gaga,
you are a freaking weirdo.

dear soda,
its been a week and i miss you dearly. figure out a way for me to drink you and not gain weight and we'll talk.

dear fun,
even though that is the lamest name i've ever heard for a band, i quite enjoy your aim & ignite album. it's not the same as the format, but i'll take it.

dear desperate housewives,
sorry it took me 5 years to start watching. i had no idea what i was missing. i promise to be faithful if you promise to not quit now that i've jumped on board. deal? deal.

dear chuck palahniuk,
oh how you bring out the twisted side of me. though i have no idea if that is a good thing or a bad thing. p.s. i envy your writing style.

dear christmas,
in case you forgot, you ain't coming until december 25th. don't get me wrong, i'm excited and all, i just don't think its necessary to start with the decorations just yet. let's at least get through halloween.

dear oreos,
you will be the death of me.

dear construction by my office that has been there since FEBRUARY,
aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!! finish already!

dear october,
i got to wear my kind-of sweater today, and that pleased me. bring on the cold! and by cold, i mean high 60s, low 70s.

sincerely,
me