to what? english. i've always had a passion for writing. and reading. so i figured, why not? i haven't gotten too far in school to switch. its now or never. i choose now.
i've gotten a lot of different reactions to it (seriously, there was a little debate on facebook between two friends, my mom, my beehive leader and myself) but my mind is made up (for now, at least). i've been thinking a lot about it lately and i really don't want to do nursing. i was looking for the easy way out when i chose that (shorter time in school, job security, good pay) but its not what i really want to do. i know some people think i'm crazy. did you see those things i just listed? who wouldn't want a career with those as elements? well, me.
ever since pres. monson's talk finding joy in the journey, that is all i've thought about. i've never been one to live in the now. it was always future or past, but never the present. i'm not spontaneous. i think through every decision i make, very thoroughly. i make little pro/con lists in my head and debate with myself. i fear the unknown. i have to have some sort of a plan or i stress. even if i don't stick to it, a plan of some sort is a necessity. i've never been an optimist (someone actually told me the other day that i am cynical... but i prefer to call it being realistic ;) ) and i'm sort of a paranoid person. i assume the worst in anyone and anything so that just in case i'm right, it will be less of a shock. less disappointing. i told my dad that once and he told me that was a sad way to live. i didn't agree with him before, but i do now.
i've learned a lot this year. remember my dreamer post? that list keeps getting bigger! some are serious, some are silly, but i'm serious about all of them. they say the first step in accomplishing a goal is writing it down. check. right after i wrote that post, i thought of so many other things i could have added. such as lines like, "don't let your dreams be dreams" (jack johnson) and "i'd rather sleep my whole life away then have you keep me from dreaming" (sara bareilles). oh well. maybe i'll do another one someday.
so what does me changing my major have to do with all of this?
for the first time in my life, i don't have a plan. an english major gives a lot of options and not a lot of job security. i don't know what i'm going to do exactly, but i'm going to do something. living the dream, baby! ha ha ha :)
and if i fail? well, then i fail. but i gave it a shot. (the format)
4 comments:
I think that's great. You're right there is not a lot out there for English majors so you'll probably have to get a masters or a post-bach in something but if it makes you happy that's great. I thought I liked English once upon a time then I took a grammar class at ASU where I had to diagram sentences...that sucked and I changed from English to Humanities. :)
Go for your dreams Cass! I'll support you. I will say, however, that you unfortunately came by the pessimist thing through genes. I've always been that way. Sorry to pass that on to you!
A thought for you Cassie. One of many I recite in my mind regularly.
You're crazy they said to reach for the stars. The stars are much, much too high. You're silly they shouted, look at yourself, you're human, you can't even fly. And so as I ran and jumped and leaped, laughing they all stood around. I didn't reach the stars as they said, but at least my feet left the ground.
I also have to have a plan in my mind when I am trying to accomplish things. But sometimes you have to do what "feels right" and take a step into the dark without knowing where it will lead you. It's called FAITH. And if it was a good decision the "light" will follow you and the darkness will go away.
Love you,
Dad
Yay for you!! I'm proud of you. That is a very grown-up decision. Hard not to be able to see the future, I know, but definitely about faith. Everyone's definition of failure is different, by the way. I look forward to seeing your journey of success. Go girl!! Love you, Rachelle
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