paper bag

i'm in a fake therapy class.
fake because therapy isn't a class.
fake because i'm with strangers.
fake because it's a writing class.

my english class this semester is "personal and exploratory writing." i've only been to one class so far. after we went through the syllabus and the rules, we sat in a circle and talked about the class touchstones. and the importance of not judging others. and trust. and not being offended.

and no, i'm not kidding. that whole part of it is going to take some getting used to. but i'm really excited for this class, and i can tell it will be my favorite this semester, without a doubt.
because i get to start writing. no research. no grammar worksheets. its almost a free for all. i'll get little prompts, but i can turn it into anything i want.

this is what i've been waiting for.

"peter used to say, 'the only thing an artist can do is describe his own face.'
you're doomed to being you.
this, he says, leaves us free to draw anything, since we're only drawing ourselves.
your handwriting. the way you walk. which china pattern you choose. it's all giving you away. everything you do shows your hand.
everything is a self-portrait.
everything is a diary.
...
because everything is important. every detail. we just don't know why yet."
-excerpt taken from chuck palahniuk's diary

no questions, no answers

tuesday. 12:41pm. phone call.
me: (blah blah blah), how can i help you?
client: i need the papers!
me: okay, may i have your name?
client: but the papers!
me: may i have your name please?
client: its for the (says half of a company name)
me: okay, but may i have your name please?
client: but i need the papers! the papers!
me: i understand that, ma'am. may i have your name?
client: THE PAPERS!!!!!
me: WHAT. IS. YOUR. NAME?? (lindsay said i was rude. i don't think i was rude, or didn't mean to be at least, but you could tell i was frustrated.)
i gave up and put her on hold.

today. 9:39am. phone call (same person)
me: (blah blah blah), how can i help you?
client: i have an appointment. where do i exit on the freeway?
me: where are you coming from?
client: phoenix
me: okay, exit stapley
client: what?
me: stapley
client: what?!
me: exit STAPLEY, and turn left
client: i exit university?
me: no, stapley
client: hold on
friend of client: where do we exit?
me: stapley
friend of client: can you spell it?
me: s-t-a-p-l-e-y
friend of client: s-t-l-p-y
me: no, s-t-a-p-l-e-y. stapley
friend of client: oh, stapley?
me: yes. do you need further directions?
friend of client: no

and then they came in and spoke to lindsay just fine.
at least they make work interesting sometimes.

night drive

look what i got! look what i got!

2009 chevy cobalt
complete with power locks & windows and cup holders in the back seat (neither of which my old car had)
AND. my favorite part.
a usb port for my ipod, so that when i plug the ipod in, it shows up on the radio screen and i can scroll away without ever having to look down at the ipod itself (for safer driving, of course).
and some other stuff i haven't paid any attention to (because of the ipod deal) such as xm radio (that will only stay as long as its free!) and blue tooth.


and now i am so broke its not even funny. ah, growing up.
i don't care. i have a new car and i love it.
:)

straitjacket feeling

...yeah. we'll see.

here's to hoping this week is [just a little bit] better than the weekend was.

vindicated

i'm going through a phase.

all i want to do is go places. travel. see things. do something.

i meant it when i said i couldn't stop thinking about pres monson's finding joy in the journey talk. i've been focusing a lot on not worrying anymore, especially about things that are totally out of my control. BUT, i don't really believe in the whole "whatever happens, happens" business. we choose where we go and what we do, nothing just "happens." we were given agency for a reason, what a waste it would be to just sit back and let life happen.

and its not just the "big" decisions that matter - its all the little ones that got us to the big decisions in the first place.

"if you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. if you don’t ask, the answer is always no. if you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place."
-nora roberts

hey thanks, thanks for that summer

so long sweet summer,
i stumbled upon you and gratefully basked in your rays
so long sweet slumber,
i fell into you, now you're gracefully falling away
-chris carrabba


dear summer 2009,
i think we should break up. we've had a lot of fun, but school is starting and i'm actually pretty excited for it. school brings a form of organization to my life that you, unfortunately, lack. if it makes you feel any better, you kicked summer 2008's butt. i would even go so far as to say you beat out summer 2007, and that's saying something. really, you're going down in the books as an absolute success.
yours forever,
me


can i just say that WHOA i start school in a week? as excited as i am, i'm sad summer is ending.

highlights:
countless girls nights
the proposal (i've only seen it 4 times)
the vegas
all american rejects concert
changing majors
trying to clock my running speed
x-men origins: wolverine
discovering MOJO!
california
harry potter 6
response from adam lambert
friends getting calls/leaving on missions
(500) days of summer
american idol concert
karaoke party!
getting through all 4 seasons of the oc (almost done)
transformers 2
institute/bowling nights
farkle!
spending enough time in the sun that i don't blend in with the walls anymore
family feud tryouts
mill ave trips
weddings
& other random adventures i can't think of right now


AND, just to not jinx the rest of my summers...


bummer deals:
first car accident
planning 2 cali trips and not going either time
friends getting calls/leaving on missions
getting sick for the 3rd time this year
running out of gas IN the parking lot of the gas station
...i think that's all.



yes, i've had a rockin' summer. but i still have a week and i fully intend to make the most of it :)

as i said, i'm sad. but i'm ready for school and for what little fall arizona gets. plus, i only have school mon-wed. and i don't work fridays. and i fly for free... meaning i can spend many a weekends in utah with bethanie. this might just be my favorite YEAR ever.

take it easy

dear bedroom,
who was i kidding? i can make no such promises. though now i am only a few loads of laundry away from having a clean floor, there are still drawers that need to be cleaned out. and seeing as how you and i will be parting ways very soon, it appears that is actually going to get done.

dear connor,
i'm glad you weren't too embarrassed to sing all those songs with me. but i'm still kind of mad at you for quitting football.

dear treadmill,
our love/hate relationship is about to flip back from hate to love. i stepped on the scale the other day and it wasn't pretty. and now that you've been moved back inside, i figure its time i get some use out of you.

dear nsync,
was it really necessary to break up? if i send you the tape of that song i wrote all those years ago, would that help?

dear asu,
i take back what i said, you actually made the switching majors thing easier for me. not about the tuition though, that is still too high.

dear immune system,
are you kidding me? that's all you've got? its been 3 weeks and my nose is still running and i'm still coughing. i am glad i can breathe again, however.

dear california,
i'm really really bummed i can't come visit this weekend.

dear byu,
just wanted to let you know that you are furthering my dislike for utah. i don't know why my friends think you're so great, but now they're leaving me and i don't know what i'm going to do. so, thanks for that.

dear self,
stop spending money!!!! you're forgetting that even though you have enough for furniture, you still have to buy a mattress and bedding. i'm pretty sure sleeping on the floor in the middle of the bed frame will only be fun the one time.

dear stephenie meyer,
please please please publish midnight sun.


xoxo,
me

we are family

my dad turned the big five zero today. so, naturally, we had a karaoke party for him on saturday night.

this is us, (kelly. dad. mom. connor. lins. me) singing what we call our family "theme song"

and no, it isn't "love at home" or "families can be together forever"

it's "get over it" by the eagles. and if i remember correctly, that became our theme song quite a while back on a car ride to st. johns. it's the one song we know all the words to, and any time it comes on we belt it out.



with that being said, happy birthday, dad! i love you and am thankful for the example you've set for me and for everything you've taught me (yes, i do listen to you). don't worry about the fact that you're halfway up the "stairway to heaven". the one thing you'll always have to hold on to is the fact that mom is older than you. (sorry, mom!)

chest

this is why i love my life:

our family portrait.






sometimes, i think we have too much fun.

p.s. "chest" is our names.
C assie
H illary
E mily
S hannon
T ara

no worries, the shirts are in the works.

roses are red, violets are blue...

go see it. it's more than worth the drive to scottsdale.


p.s. saw the trailer for paper heart. so excited!